


Chance Encounter

by redeem147



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-11
Updated: 2011-08-11
Packaged: 2017-10-22 12:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 11,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/238112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redeem147/pseuds/redeem147
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You never know who you`ll meet on vacation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The sun was dipping down as she sat in the deck chair and stretched out. The air was still warm, and the pool had been delicious. She noticed the sadness of the girl beside her. “Hi. Nice night.”

“What?” She’d been half daydreaming, half crying, fully absorbed in herself. It took her a second to register the other woman. “Oh. Hi.” For the first time, she looked at the palm trees, at the setting sun glittering on the pool surface. “Yeah. Nice.”

“You here alone?”

“Me?” She sighed. “Couldn’t be much aloner. But I need some alone time.”

The other girl nodded. “Sorry. I’ll leave you be, then.”

“No.” She surprised herself with her adamancy. “It’s good. Having someone to talk to. Been awhile since I’ve hung out with Americans. I’ve missed it.”

“You were away?” the first girl asked. “Out of the country?”

“I was living in Europe for the last year. But I felt like coming home. U.S. of A. home. For now, anyway. You here on vacation?”

“No. I mean, I was, sort of. In the Bahamas. This was supposed to be a stopover, but there were plane problems so they put us up here for tonight.”

“Us?” The woman looked around the deck. “You here with someone? Your boyfriend?”

“My sister and my niece. They went to bed early. But I felt like some air.” She lay back in the chair. “My boyfriend sent us on vacation. But I’m going home to him now.”

“Really? He didn’t come with you? He have to work or something?”

“Something.” Her eyes got misty. “He got hurt while I was gone. I just want to get back.”

“Oh my god.” The woman put her hand on the girl’s arm. “Is he okay?”

“I don’t know.” She bit her lip. “His friend called me. Said it was bad. Some kind of poison. While he was ... working.”

“What does he do? Work with chemicals?” She caught herself. “Sorry. I’m being a nosey parker. But poison. That’s bad.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, if his friend called you. If he didn’t...”

“I’m not even sure he’s my boyfriend anymore...” she muttered.

“Oh.” The woman looked up at the sky. “I just broke up with my boyfriend. Hence the coming home. Well, not home.” She wrapped her arms around her body. “I don’t really have a home.”

“Really? What...?”

“Oh, I’m fine. I have places to go. Lots to do. But there was this... this earthquake, and my hometown isn’t there anymore. Sunnydale.”

“I saw that on the news.” The girl sat up in her chair. “You’re from California. I’m from LA!”

“Oh, wow. What’re the odds?” She smiled. “I grew up in LA!”

“No way!”

“Way!” Her smile faded. “But I’m not going back. This is warm and palm treeish. It’ll do for now.”

“What happened?” the girl asked. “You mentioned your boyfriend.”

“Ex-boyfriend.” Her face set. “Cheating, lying jerk ex-boyfriend. I have no luck with men. At all.”

“Gee, I’m sorry.”

“Really. My first boyfriend left me and my last one, before this one... He died.” Her voice grew quiet, as she whispered, “He died.”

“Oh, that’s horrible.”

“Oh, God. You don’t need to hear that. Not with your boyfriend sick.” She shook her head. “I’m such an idiot. There was... there was an accident. A... a fire.” She looked up at the night sky. “Just ignore me. I hope your guy gets better.”

“Me too. He’s the best man I’ve ever met.” She blushed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t gush. But there are good guys out there. You’ll meet yours.”

“A woman without a man is like a trout without a moped. Or something. I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah. I think you will.” She rubbed her arms as the sun fully set. “I’m getting chilly. Think I’ll turn in. Early flight tomorrow. It was nice meeting you...”

“Buffy.”

“Hi Buffy. I’m Nina.” She slipped on her sandals and stood up. “I hope everything works out for you.”

“You too. I hope your guy’s okay.”

“Thanks. Buffy. Name sounds familiar.”

“Really?” She raised her eyebrows. “You know another Buffy?”

She thought. “No. I think someone mentioned the name once. Can’t remember.” Nina waved at the other girl. “Well, goodnight.”

“Night,” Buffy answered, as she slipped back into her own thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nina comes home.

It wasn’t the best part of the city, but it wasn’t the worst. She finally found the apartment building, running down the stairs to knock on the door.

He looked tired. “Hey, Nina. Come in.”

“How is he?” she asked, not even saying hello.

“Better, I think. For a long time he just lay there. Now he slips in and out. Mentions your name. Good you’re here.” He didn’t mention the other names. She didn’t need to hear them.

“Can I see him?” Her heart was in her throat as she followed Spike to the bed. He was laying there, not moving, not breathing. She sat on the chair next to him and took his hand. “Angel?” she said quietly. His skin was hot.

“Don’t expect too much. Don’t think he can hear you.”

“How did it...?”

“Demon venom. Right near the end of the battle, hardly any of them left, one got in a shot. I’m generally good with my demons, but didn’t recognize this one. Nasty looking bugger. But I got him.” He smiled softly at Angel. “Didn’t I, old sod?”

“Good.” She turned to Spike. “Thank you for taking care of him. I’m sure he...” Her eyes widened. “Oh, God. I just noticed. Your hand.”

“Just a few fingers. Better than a whole hand.” He lifted it up, extending the extant pinkie and ring fingers. “Does limit my self expression some.”

She turned back to her lover, squeezing his hand tighter. “What you both went through. What all of you...”

“So,” Spike asked. “How were the tropics? See you got a bit of a tan. Oh, and out of curiosity, how did that full moon go?”

“He had a place set up there for me.” With her free hand, she brushed an errant hair from his forehead. “I told my sister. It wasn’t easy, but she had to know. She freaked of course, but I think she understands.”

He lay his right hand on her shoulder. “Sounds like a good woman. Be glad you’ve got a family.”

She nodded. “I am. Even with everything else, I’m a lucky girl.” She looked at Spike, looked down at Angel. “Family’s important.”

Angel jerked on the bed. “Buffy! The Master! Look out!” Then he settled again.

“Did he say Buffy?” she asked.

“Yeah, well...” Spike tried to act nonchalant. “Buffy’s the Slayer. You know. He said he told you about Rome. Don’t think anything of it. He gets that way, bits from the past...”

“I’m not jealous. It’s just... that name. Buffy.”

“Don’t tell me you know a Buffy.”

“Yeah.” She thought a moment. “I met this girl in Florida. Her name was Buffy. She said she was living in Europe.”

Spike stopped. The room seemed to tilt, just a bit. “From Europe.”

“She said she was back in the States. She’d just had a bad breakup. Let me think.” She tried to replay the casual conversation in her mind. “But she said she was from that town that got wiped out in the earthquake. Sunnydale.”

He was surprised when he didn’t fall over. He just stared at Nina. “Sunnydale.”

“Oh, god. It’s her. It’s Angel’s ex, isn’t it?”

“She said she wasn’t with the Wanker anymore?” His voice was hopeful.

“Wanker? You mean her boyfriend? No. They broke up.” Then it hit her. “When I first met you, you were a ghost. You’d been dead.”

“Still am, mostly. But deader than, yeah.”

“You and Buffy. You’re him. The one who died. Her boyfriend she said died.”

His head jerked up. “She called me her boyfriend?”

“The Sun Beach Ramada.”

“What’s that then?” he asked.

“That’s where she was staying.”

“Hey, Nina,” a weak voice said. “Welcome home.” Angel shifted in the bed. “I think there’s room.”

There were tears in her eyes as she climbed up beside him.


	3. Chapter 3

She’d fallen asleep on top of the covers, her arm laying across his chest. When she woke up, he was still again. The heat radiated from his chest through the sheet, and her palm was sweating. She thought he was warmer even than before, and it frightened her. She pushed off the bed, and pulled the thin blanket off to the floor, bringing the sheet down to his waist.

She couldn’t find a sponge in the kitchen, but there was an empty mug, stained red. She rinsed it out and filled it with cool water, bringing it back and sitting beside him. She dipped her fingers in and smoothed them across his forehead, his neck, his chest. He moaned under her hand.

She refused to cry. Over and over in her head she repeated the mantra, ‘don’t die, Angel. Don’t die.’

She regretting insisting that Spike leave. But Angel had been better then, lucid and less flushed. He’d even held down a few sips of blood. She had no idea what to do. If he were human, she’d be lost. But he was a vampire, and all she knew was that as long as he wasn’t dust he was still with her.

It wasn’t fair.

He’d fought the battle. He’d won. They should be out dancing. They should be making love. Whatever the Powers he championed couldn’t do this. It was wrong. ‘Don’t die, Angel.’

She pulled off her cotton t-shirt and dipped the hem in the cup of water, more thoroughly moistening his forehead, his face, his chest. The drops of water mingled with her unrestrained tears. “I love you,” she whispered, daring the words she would never say were he conscious.

She should eat. Spike had picked a few things up for her from the market, and she should eat. She wasn’t hungry.

She slipped off her jeans, and clad only in her undergarments, climbed under the sheet beside him. She was afraid to go to sleep. Afraid he’d be gone next time she woke up. She stole a gentle kiss from his lifeless lips, then snuggled next to him.

“Nina?”

She started, for a second confused by the unfamiliar surroundings. “What...?”

“I’m sorry, baby. Did I wake you up?”

Her face burst with joy. His skin was cool and dry. He was smiling at her. She hugged him with all her strength. “Angel.”

“I’m feeling better. If you let go a bit, I could get something to eat.”

She laughed. “No, you lie there. I’ll go.” She bounded from the bed. “You want a little blood?”

“Actually, I want a lot of blood.” He looked around the room. “Where’s Spike?”

“He’s gone. He had someplace to go.” She filled the mug with blood from the fridge in the kitchenette, calling, “You scared me! Don’t do that again! Ever!”

“I make no promises,” he answered, taking it from her hands. “Though it’s not like I’m planning it.” He brought the red liquid to his lips and drank it down. “More?” he asked, holding out the cup.

“You sure you’re up to it?” Inside she was singing. He was eating, he was better. He was going to be okay.

He drank the second cup with the same fervour as the first. He handed it back to her. “I guess that’s enough for now.” His eyes were tender as he looked up at her. “I’m sorry. That I scared you.” Then he wiggled his eyebrows. “That how they dress in the Bahamas? If so, I am so going back with you.”

She nodded. “Yep. You’re feeling better, all right.” She lay back beside him, and his hand started roaming down her abdomen. “You sure you’re that much better?” She lay her hand atop his, stopping its progress. “You were really sick. Spike said you were poisoned.”

“I guess it had to work through my system. Really, I think I’m fine, now.” He rolled a bit, catching her body under his as he kissed her. His hand continued its investigation.

“Well, well. Look who’s on the mend.” He stood in the doorway, smirking. “Sorry to interrupt.”

Nina pushed away, pulling the sheet over her chest. “Hey, Spike. Yeah. You get that thing?”

Angel glowered at the other vampire. “Great timing,” he muttered.

Spike ignored him. “I did, thanks muchly.” He tossed her credit card on the counter. “It’s a bugger finding one of them cyber cafes in this neighbourhood. Took forever. But yeah. Thanks.”

Nina smiled. “You’re welcome. Now, do you think maybe you could shut the door?”

Spike sighed. “In my own bed. How considerate.” He started to close the door behind him, then paused. “Now you two don’t be getting too happy in there. And keep it down. Trying to pass the next level in Resident Evil II. Which is a tad more challenging now, I'd have you know.”

They weren’t listening.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike seeks Buffy.

“I’m sorry, sir. Your friend seems to have checked out.”

Everything, wasted. Borrowing Nina’s credit card to book the flight. Waiting for the exact flight to book, to ensure he wouldn’t be walking in the sun. Praying that there wouldn’t be a delay. He had wondered how far he could sprint with his coat over his head before he combusted.

Florida. Southern Cal was sunny enough, but Florida. There was a reason there were few vampire resorts. Floridians weren’t fond of dust.

Twitching all the way in the shuttle bus from the airport. Alternating from silly grin to lip biting terror. Being vaguely aware that the tourists sharing said bus were sitting as far away from him as they could press in the seats. They must think him a lunatic.

He was a lunatic.

Angel was better. He hadn’t told him that he’d taken advantage of the cyber cafe to surf the demon databases. It had been an y’tisom’na demon that had poisoned him. So he knew what had done the trick. Wouldn’t the wanker be interested to know just how deep his little werewolf’s feelings went. Let him find out for himself.

He hoped it wouldn’t make him too happy. Last thing he needed was to room with Angelus again.

Probably would freak the bugger out. Knowing she’d cried for him. Knowing love’s tears had touched him.

So much easier to dwell on Angel’s life than to think about what he faced.

Buffy thought he was dead. Buffy had moved on. Buffy would find out he’d been staying with Angel for over a year, then he really *would* be dead.

But Nina had said she was crying. He hated to see his girl cry. Dirty, filthy, whoring Immortal.

The thought of her, in an unfamiliar city, alone and depressed. He couldn’t leave her like that.

She’s said he was her boyfriend. Told Nina. That had to mean something.

And if all she needed was a friend, he could be that too. Whatever she needed.

God, he was wet. Stupid romantic fool.

He’d run into the lobby, plopped his one meagre travel bag down on the floor, tapped his foot with impatience as he waited in the line, burst out with “Can you ring Buffy Summer’s room?” and waited for what seemed an eternity.

And she wasn’t there anymore. He was trapped in the Sunbelt, no return ticket, no hope. Idiot.

“Sir, did you hear me?”

“Yeah,” he growled, “she’s gone.”

“No sir, I said she wasn’t answering. She seems to have gone out. Would you care to wait, or shall I give her a message?”

People said you only hear what you want to hear. Spike only heard what he expected to hear. “I... I’ll wait here...” he sputtered, flopping into a big arm chair. He flashed back on the last time he saw her, her hand entwined in his. The way she’d said she loved him. Too late her kindness.

If she truly loved him, she’d had a thousand opportunities to tell him. The timing was all wrong. A kindness was all it was.

Maybe she wouldn’t want his friendship. Certainly she wouldn’t want his love. What the bloody hell was he doing here? If he hurried, he could get back to the airport. Maybe find a cozy spot in a cargo hold heading back to LA. Or London. Been years since he...

As he stood from the chair and turned around, she was there. Her eyes widened, and for a second he feared she would faint.

The sun had kissed her hair even blonder than he remembered. Her skin was bronzed a warm tone. Though the underlying shade was a definite ash grey. She had a put on a few pounds, and it suited her.

She was saying his name. “Spike.” She stood, mesmerized, staring.

“Buffy, it’s me. I’m back.” He moved to touch her hair, then pulled away. “If you want me.”

She took the hand in hers, reticent to touch the space where his fingers used to be. “You’re hurt.” Pressed her lips to the palm. “My god. This can’t be real.” Lay her other hand against his chest. “Real.”

“I’m real.”

As she held him, as her tears dampened his t-shirt, he felt whole.


	5. Chapter 5

She sat silently on the edge of the bed, staring. He sat on the armchair, looking at his feet, his hands, anything but her steady gaze. Her room, her idea. A quiet place. A place to talk.

The silence was deafening.

What could he say? What could he tell her? Now, from the vantage point of time, he felt like a total idiot. How could he explain where he had been, why he hadn’t contacted her, when he didn’t understand it himself?

At first, the return. The long days haunting the halls of Wolfram and Hart. He couldn’t tell her then. He had been nothing but a dead man, trapped in a hated reality. He’d had nothing to offer her then.

After, ‘Doyle’s’ champion. Darling of the Powers that Bloody Be. Alone in his dingy little apartment. What could he have been to her?

That wasn’t quite true, was it? He’d come so close to sailing to Europe. Practically one foot on the gangplank, and he’d turned back. Fearing the look in her eyes when she saw him. The regret. Fearing the one thing he’d had going for him was his great, grand, save the world gesture, blown to hell.

The longer he’d waited, the easier it had been. He couldn’t let Andrew tell her. That was his place. But he never did tell her.

Running off a half-cocked jealous fool, Angel in tow, having no idea what he would have done if she’d opened the apartment door instead of Andrew.

But she hadn’t. And still, he didn’t leave a message.

Now, he was sitting across from her. She was staring at him. And he was terrified. He wondered if she could have had some feelings for him if he’d only contacted her last year. He’d forfeited that. Once she knew the whole truth, she’d be sending him back to LA on the first flight. Possibly in an ashtray.

No more than he deserved, really.

She’d cried when she saw him. Shock. Nothing more.

She’d spoken to him. No choice but to look up and meet her eyes.

“I said, how did you find me?”

That was an easy one. “That girl you met the other day. Nina. Remember? She’s Angel’s bird.”  
“Angel.”

Suddenly, it wasn’t easy at all.

“When did you talk to Angel?” She seemed confused now, and he mentally kicked himself.

In for a penny... “We share a flat.”

She blinked, trying to comprehend. “At the law firm.”

“No.” He shook his head. “We kicked their collective asses. So, no place else to go, he moved into my modest apartment.”

“I think I’ve gone insane,” she mumbled.

“It all does seem pretty mad,” he agreed. “So, Nina said you were here, and I came looking for you. Daft really. Andrew told me you’d moved on, but the thought of that Immortal bugger messing with you...”

“Andrew. Andrew knew.” Through gritted teeth, she asked, “How long? How long ago did you get back?”

This was it. Moment of bloody truth. He quickly glanced around the room for sharp wooden objects. “A year. About a year.”

Her hand clenched into a fist, and he winced. Maybe she’d only knock him around a bit. Both hands were clenched. He had it coming. He had it coming. At least it was physical contact, of a sort. Her muscles tightened, her fists raised... and she kneaded him into her eyes. Tears dripped from under them. “Do you still love me?” she asked.

“What?” He was off the chair, kneeling beside her. “Always, Buffy.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “So sorry.”

His head jerked up. “Buffy? You aren’t angry?”

“What did I do to you? I tried to tell you, but I blew it. It was too late.”

Gently, he pulled her hands away from her eyes, clasping them together with his. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve thought a lot, this last year. Thought about all the times I hurt you. I want to say I didn’t mean it, but I did. I hated myself, and so I hated you.” When he pulled back, she lay a hand on his cheek. “And by the time I knew I didn’t, everything was crazy, with the girls, and the First. If we’d only had more time, I would have made you understand.” She lay both her hands on the sides of his head, forcing him to look straight into her eyes. “I love you Spike. I’ve loved you for a long time. I think I’ve grown up enough to admit it to both of us.”

“God, I love you, Buffy.” Damn. Vampires weren’t supposed to cry, but it never stopped him.

She pulled him up beside her on the bed and held him. Kissed him. Paused.

“What do you mean, ‘Angel’s bird’?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel has a surprise for Nina - and for himself.

“Man, that was amazing.” Angel practically bounced into the night, oblivious to Nina’s amused expression. “How did they do that? And that Diesel guy. Has he make any other movies? He was really good. Didn’t you think he was really good?”

Nina just laughed. “Angel, you know the movie sucked, don’t you?”

“Sucked? What? No... No, I mean that planet, that city. It was incredible. How did they do that?”

“Special effects. Computers.” She stopped walking and stared at him, causing him to settle down. “When was the last time you went to a movie?”

“Two months ago. The Revelie was showing The Guns of Navarone. Gregory Peck.” He shrugged. “Why?”

She took a breath. “Okay. When was the last time you went to a movie made in this decade?”

“I don’t know. I forget.”

“Don’t you watch TV? You used to have that big screen TV in your apartment. Even Spike has a TV. Crappy TV, but a TV.”

“I watch TV. I just don’t watch movies on TV.”

“O...kay. What do you watch on TV?”

“Sports,” he answered. “Hockey.” Subdued now, he stuck his hands in his pockets. “I know. Say it.”

“It?”

He sighed. “Say you hate sports.”

“I love hockey,” she grinned. “My dad used to take us all the time when he was alive. You want to go to a game some time?”

His face lit up like the sun breaking a broody cloud. “You. Love. Hockey.” He swept her up in his arms and spun her around. “You. Love. Hockey.” Still holding her off the ground, her arms around his neck, he kissed her. After a moment he let her down. “You’re the perfect girlfriend.”

“Yeah. Except for being a werewolf,” she chuckled, “I’ve got it all. Didn’t any of your other girlfriends like hockey?”

Angel took her hand in his, and they continued walking. “Cordy said ‘What’s the use of watching a sport if the guys cover it all up with padding?’ Every time I started talking about hockey to Buffy, she’d get the conversation around to Brian Boitano. So, short answer, no.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “What do you want to do now? Hungry?”

“Nope. Full of popcorn. Hmm. Too hot for hockey.” She pulled him back in the direction of the cinema. “Let’s get in my car and drive to Santa Monica. I love looking at the ocean, don’t you?”

He stopped, her hand tugging as she tried to keep walking. “I used to.” He pulled her back. “I’ll go, if you want to, but I want to show you something first. I was going to show you after supper. It won’t take long.”

They got into her car and drove to an industrial area. “Okay, this is weird,” she said. “You want to show me Acme Packaging. Very nice. You’re going to what, help the boxless?”

“Come inside.” He opened the door for her and led her down into the basement. “I rented this a few months ago. Long term, paid upfront. Here.” In the clean, uncluttered room, stood a heavy steel-barred cage. “This is for you. You can come here every month.” He showed her the lock. “This can only be opened with a password. You should have no problem getting in and out, but,” he brushed the hair from her forehead, “my little werewolf will be stuck here.”

“You know, Angel?” Her glistening eyes betrayed the emotion behind her light tone. “You give being a kept woman a whole new meaning.”

“It’s okay with you? I mean, I could have asked...”

She stopped him with a kiss. “It’s great. I was so afraid of what would happen, where I would go, now that Wolf... the other place is gone. Thank you.”

They drove in silence to the ocean. She tried to regain her equilibrium, put the very physical reminder who she’d become out of her mind for the evening.

He watched her as she drove. She’d rolled down the window, letting the night air stir her hair. She was so brave to face what she faced with humour. So beautiful, the blonde strands whipping across her cheeks. So kind and gentle, the way she’d nursed him in his illness.

He realized for the first time that he had fallen in love with her.

The walked along the pier, and he tried to see the ocean through her eyes. Tried to regain the beauty it once held for him. All he could see was her.

When they stopped to kiss, he drank her in long and deep.

Kissed her like he’d never kiss her again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike and Buffy in LA.

The bus let them out two blocks from his apartment. He reached down to take her suitcase, and she slapped his hand away. “I can carry that, you sexist.”

“I prefer gentleman.” He made another grab for the bag.

“You... you...Victorian.” She laughed as she held the handle tighter. “I’m a big strong Slayer, and I can carry my own bag, thank you very much.”

“Just trying to be helpful.”

“So be helpful.” She reached for him with her free left hand. “Hold this instead.”

He nodded in understanding. “You don’t want to touch the left one, do you?” He wiggled his remaining fingers. “Not too attractive, I admit.”

She dropped the bag to the ground and looked up at him. “What happened?” Took his mutilated hand in hers and brought it to her lips. “You never told me how this happened.” She kissed the spot where his fingers used to be. “Does it hurt?”

“Naw,” he replied softly. “Vampire healing. You know.” He put his arm across her shoulders as they walked. “I told you about the big fight. Battle raging and all that. I’d nicked a sword from one of the bigger demons, and was playing a little slice and dice, when this dragon swooped down at ol’ Angel. Poor bugger’d dropped his own sword, and the thing was about to nip off his head and choke on the hair gel, so I went in for the kill. Snicker snacked it just under the breast bone, and it fell.

I was a bit distracted at this point, and I didn’t see the little demon come at me. Up went his dagger, and down went my sword, fingers and all.”

Buffy leaned closer under his arm. “How horrible.”

“Well, not fun, but not near as bad as being burned to a crisp. Anyway, long story short, The Powers That Be intervened with their own army. Guess they weren’t ready for the final apocalypse. Bad guys lose, good guys win, hip hip bloody hoorah.” He sighed. “Cept for Gunn, and Wes. Good men.”

“So how did Angel...?”

“Angel turns to me and says, ‘I wanted to slay the dragon.’ And I said, ‘Right. You would've had to slay him from inside with your breath, then, cause he woulda eaten you.’ And Angel said, ‘I had a plan.’ And I said, well, I didn’t say anything, cause this ugly git comes out of nowhere and stings him with this nasty poker, not unlike the thingy that done you that time, and Angel goes down. So I killed it.”

“And you take him home and call Nina, who tells me the story on her way back.”

Spike shifted his travel bag on his shoulder. “Right. And she tells me where you are, and I fly across the country to find you there. Which was either the biggest coincidence in the universe, or the Powers giving me my champion’s reward.” He paused. “Considering their track record, from how Angel tells it, I’m guessing the former.”

“You think I could be your reward?” she asked.

“Sweetheart, after last night I think I’m the luckiest three-fingered vampire in the history of mankind.”

She put down her suitcase and kissed him soundly. “Though technically,” she said, “one of them is a thumb.”

He had to laugh at that. “I was worried it gave you the wiggins.”

“Don’t say wiggins.” She picked up her suitcase and started walking beside him again. “Xander says wiggins. Don’t sound like Xander.” She winked. “It give me the wiggins.”

“How is the welp? Heard he went to Africa.” He smiled. “Bout time he went to get a soul.”

“That’s not fair.” She punched his arm. “He always speaks so highly of you. I told you about Anya. You can imagine how broken up he was. Giles put him in charge of finding African potentials. We don’t talk much. I think he’s happy. Speaking of happy, how close are Angel and Nina?”

“He cares about her. She loves him, I know that for a fact. There are obstacles. The lunar cycle, for one thing.”

“Huh? She has raging PMS?”

“She’s a werewolf.” He stopped in front of a low-rise apartment building. “Lucy, we’re home.”

She followed him into the building. “She’s a what?”

They went down the stairs to his door. “Lupinely challenged.” He put the key in the lock and opened up. “Angel?” he called. “You home? Got a surprise for you.”

There was no answer, but he could sense someone was in the apartment.

He flipped on the light switch. She was sitting on the couch, an almost empty glass of his Jack D in her hand. Her face was wet with tears. “Angel’s gone.” She held up a crumpled sheet of paper. “He’s gone.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy comforts Nina.

“Hi Buffy,” Nina said, as the other woman sat beside her on the couch. “Spike found you. Good.”

“Where’s Angel gone?” Buffy asked.

Spike reached for the paper Nina held, but she clutched it back. “No. Private.”

“He buggered off, didn’t he?” Spike’s face contorted in disgust. “Typical.”

“Not now, Spike.” Buffy lay her hand on the girl’s arm. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“Obvious, isn’t it? He pulled a runner. Wanker.”

Nina sniffled.

“Spike.” Buffy looked up at her lover, her gaze firm. “Why don’t you go to the store and get us something for dinner? I’m very hungry, and I'll bet all you have in the fridge is blood and beer.”

Spike wondered for a moment if his Slayer had developed x-ray vision. Then, shrugging, he headed towards the door. “I’ll be back in a few.”

Alone, Buffy patted Nina on the shoulder, in what she hoped was a reassuring manner. “Tell me what happened, okay?”

Nina nodded, trying to catch her breath. “Last night, we went to the pier. It was really great, you know? But after, he just got me to drop him here. I thought he’d want me to stay. But he said no, to meet him here tonight.”

Buffy nodded. “And he was gone when you got here?”

“No.” She took a sip of her drink and swallowed hard. “He was here. He looked so good.” Her eyes teared up again, and Buffy pulled a kleenex from her pocket. Nina wiped her eyes and continued. “He stared at me for a long time. Then he kissed me, and he... he...”

“Nina?”

“He said he loved me. Oh, Buffy, I love him so much, and I know he likes me, but he told me about you and going to Rome and I figured it was you, but...”

“Angel was in Rome?”

“He went to Rome with Spike, but you were with some other guy, so they came home.”

“Oh,” Buffy said quietly.

“Angel told me that he loved me, and I thought, wow, my life is perfect. Well, except for the werewolf thing... do you know about the werewolf thing?”

“I heard. Tell me more later.” She took the glass from Nina’s wobbling hand and sat it on the table. “Angel told you... said he loved you. Then what?”

“He said he had to go out. I thought maybe he was getting dinner, or something. You were right about the fridge. So I went into the bedroom. To get ready.” Nina blushed, then wiped her eyes again with the now wet kleenex. “There was a note on the pillow. From Angel.”

“Can I read it?” Buffy asked.

“I’d rather you didn’t.” Nina stuffed the papers into her pocket. “But the gist is, he said loving me was dangerous. That things were going too good for him now.”

“And that he was leaving.”

Nina nodded. “He told me. About his curse. He told me before the first time we made love.”

Buffy ignored the little knot in her stomach. “Then you know what could happen. How he could lose his soul.”

“He’d be evil, he said. But how could Angel be evil? He’s such a good man. You know that. It’s me, isn’t it? There’s something wrong with me.”

“Oh, no.” Buffy put her arms around the girl. “Sound’s like there’s something right with you.” She made her voice as soothing as she could. “You have no idea. You’ve never seen Angelus.”

“Who?”

“You’ve never seen Angel without his soul. I have. He’s another person. Cruel, manipulative, deadly.”

Nina stiffened. “That’s hard to believe.”

“I thought you were a werewolf.”

“Oh.” Nina leaned against her. “What did he do?”

“He killed someone. One of my teachers. She was very close to my Watcher.”

“Your what?”

“I’ll explain it later. But that wasn’t all. He almost destroyed the world.”

Nina laughed, a strangled, desperate laugh. “That’s crazy.”

“Yeah,” Buffy sighed. “Yeah, it was.” She stood up and took Nina’s hand. “You go lie down. We’ll talk more later, but you look like you could use some sleep.”

Nina tottered towards the bedroom. She turned back to look at Buffy. “I don’t understand.”

Buffy smiled with sympathy. “That’s because it doesn’t make any sense. It never does. It’s just what is.”


	9. Chapter 9

Buffy quietly opened the bedroom door and peeked inside. She shut it gently and sat down beside Spike. “She’s sleeping.”

“Poor kid. He leaves her a letter and just takes off. Come to think of it, he didn’t even leave me a letter. And after all we’ve been through together, too.”

She lay a hand on Spike’s leg. “I’m sorry, baby. It’s so strange to think of the two of you as friends.”

“Friends!” he sputtered. “We most certainly are not friends. Me and Peaches? Sure, we fought side by side, taking down the enemy. And maybe we bonded a little, with Fred dying and all. But we are not friends.” He hunkered down into the couch. “Damn. I miss him already.”

Buffy wrapped her arms around him, drawing him to her. She shifted a little farther over and lay his head on her lap, fingertips drawing little circles on his temple. “My life is weird.”

“Just figure that out now, pet?” He closed his eyes in pleasure. “Ummm. Nice.”

“Really. Here I am, back in LA where I started, cuddling with my supposedly crispy fried vampire boyfriend, babysitting the werewolf girlfriend of my former other vampire boyfriend. Both of said boyfriends, once mortal enemies, just recently Oscar and Felixed. You don’t find any of that strange?”

He took her free hand in his and kissed it. “You don’t watch Passions, do you?”

She suddenly sprang to her feet, exclaiming “Dawn!” as he tumbled onto the floor. “Oh, god, you okay?” She reached down and helped him up.

“What the bloody hell was that about?” He rubbed at his hip. “Ow.”

“I’m sorry, baby, but I just remembered. I haven’t called Dawn in two days. She thinks I’m still in Florida. Can I use your phone?”

He gestured around the room. “You could if I had one.”

“That’s okay.” She pulled a tiny silver case from her pocket. “I’ll use my cell.”

“New, too expensive. Assuming the Bit’s still living La Dolce Vita.” He picked up a black cell phone from beside the X-box. “Use the ponce’s. He seems to have left it when he buggered off.”

“I couldn’t. I mean, I shouldn’t. Should I?” She took the cell from his hand and started dialing long distance. “I’ll pay him back. Next time I see him. For sure.” She clapped the lid shut before she made the call. “If I see him. We don’t know where he went, if he’ll ever come back...”

Spike was dismayed by the sudden tears in her eyes. He wanted to reach out and comfort her, but her reaction had spooked him. “You’re worried about him, then.”

“Of course I am. About him, and Nina. The whole thing. It’s so sad.”

He took her into his arms then, and held her close. “I thought...”

“What? That I suddenly realized I’m in love with him because he’s gone?” She pulled out of his arms and looked at Spike. “I’ll always love him, you know. He’ll always be my first. So yeah, I worry. Yeah, I wanted to see him again. But I’m with you, and I love you and...” She took his face between her hands. “Ah, screw it.” She kissed him. “Stupid insecure vampire. I. Love. You.”

“I know,” he said softly.

“I hope so.” She picked up the phone again and punched in the number in Rome. After a moment, she smiled. “Hey Dawn. How are you? Florida? It was great. I mean, really great... No, not right away. Maybe not for a long time... Oh, I’m better than good. I have news.” She glanced at Spike, then put her hand over the tiny mouthpiece. “Should I tell her?”

“Up to you.”

She nodded. “Dawn, something happened. Remember when I told you how we lost Spike? Well, there was a little more to it. That amulet ... Dawn, who’s there in the background? Dawn?”

“Is she okay?”

“I think so.” She spoke into the phone again. “Oh, he did, did he? Okay, then let him explain the rest of it. I don’t want to run up Angel’s cell more than I have to. I’ll explain later. Bye.”

“Who is he?” Spike asked, “And what did he do?”

“As soon as I started telling her, Andrew piped in. I thought he’d moved in with his boyfriend. They must have had a fight again.”

“So, she knows. Did she sound angry?”

Buffy hugged him. “No, silly. She’s very happy. Confused, but happy. She knows what a wreck I was when you ... died.”

“Does she, now?”

“Total wreck. Hence bad boyfriend judgement. But I guess you knew that, Mr. ‘Go to Rome with Angel and don’t let me know you’re alive’.

“Oh. You heard.”

“Nina told me. Speaking of, I hope she’s okay in there.”

“I’m okay.” Nina stood at the bedroom door, her eyes still red. “I didn’t really sleep much.”

Buffy walked over to her and put an arm around her shoulder. “You want to talk now? Spike, make some tea.”

“No thanks.” Nina gave Buffy a hug then headed towards the door, giving Spike’s arm an affectionate squeeze as she walked by. “I’m going home.”

“What will you do now?” Buffy asked, her voice full of concern.

“Do? I don’t know. I’ll go to school, look after my niece. Once a month I’ll check myself into Chez Furball, and start it all over again.” She stopped at the apartment door. “I love him. But I won’t wait for him. Unless... You think he’ll come back?” She found the answer in her friends’ eyes. “No. I didn’t think so either.”

Buffy watched sadly as the door closed behind Nina. “I know how she feels.”

Spike took her hand. “And I’ll never let you feel that way again.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xander? What`s he doing here?

She’d been digging through his tool box again, leaving hammers and screwdrivers piled on the kitchen table, undoubtably needing something in the bottom of the box. “Honey,” he called into the bedroom, “Have you seen my needle nose pliers?”

“I don’t think so,” she sang back to him. “Come and look.”

He smiled at that, knowing her little tricks. As he expected, she lay naked on the bed, the pliers in her hand. “These them?”

He dived at her, taking the pliers and dropping them on the floor beside the bed. They smothered each other with kisses, the carpenter and the slayer’s sister.

He lay spent in her arms. “I only came home for supper, you know. I’ve got a training session tonight with your sister and the new girl.”

“Still hungry?” Her lids were heavy, and she bit her bottom lip seductively.

“Always, baby,” he winked, easing out of the bed. “I think there’s some leftovers in the fridge.

She pouted, as she threw his pants at his head. “Xander Harris, you are a pig.”

“So I’ve been told.” He looked down at the beautiful woman on the bed, long dark legs and curly black hair. Dark shining eyes. After Anya, he’d given up on relationships, heading to Africa to search for newly activated slayers. Young Denise Wanjiku had been the first he’d found for the council, but it was her older sister, Monica, who had quickly captured his heart. “Want me to make you a sandwich?”

“Thanks. Oh, and you had a phone call a few hours ago.”

Xander stopped, one leg in his jeans. “Who?”

“Ooh,” she sighed. “It’s hard to think. I’m so hungry.” When he didn’t smile back, she picked the paper off the nightstand. “Andrew Wells. Spoilsport.”

He took the paper from her. “Rome. Man this better be important. Long distance charges are killing me.”

“Of course they are. The business calls the Council pays for you. Killing you.”

“You’ve got a mouth on you, missy.” He leaned down and kissed her. “Love that mouth.” He left the bedroom and picked up the phone in the living room. “What time is it in Rome again? Aw, screw it.”

She was beside him, her robe wrapped loose over her shoulders. “What did he say?”

“I don’t know. He hasn’t picked up the phone. Answering machine. Hey, Andrew, this is Xander, return... Hey. What’s up?”

“Is it about my sister? Another slayer?”

“Shh. No, Andrew, not you. You called?” His face went slack with shock.

“What is it?” His expression frightened her. “Is he okay? Are you okay?”

Xander placed his hand over the mouthpiece. “Spike is alive. Sort of.”

“Who’s Spike?”

“What was that, Andrew? She is? They are? No, I don’t hate him. I just don’t know what to... They did?”

“Who? They who?”

“Spike and Buffy.”

“The slayer?”

“Thanks Andrew. I’ll give her a call. Her cell. Okay. Bye.” He put his arm around his wife, and pulled her close. “I didn’t think things could get any weirder.”

“Who is Spike?”

“A vampire.”

“So she slayed him?”

“Not exactly.” He led her over to the couch and sat beside her. “Buffy and Spike. They’re together.”

“Together, together?” Monica let out a long breath. “Weird.”

“You don’t know the half of it. A year ago, when...” He was cut off by a knocking at the door. “Maybe that’s Denise. Go get dressed, and bring me my shirt, okay?”

“Yes sir.” She flipped him a salute and headed back to the bedroom.

He opened the door. It wasn’t Denise. It was the last person he would have expected to see on a doorstep in Nakuru, Kenya. “Angel.”

“Xander, can you invite me in? I need your help.”


	11. Chapter 11

“I can’t believe you don’t like ice cream.”

Spike sipped at his tea. “Just because I eat, doesn’t mean I eat everything. Ice cream is cold, and slimy. Unpleasant.”

She licked her spoon clean. “But this is double chocolate fudge cookie dough swirl. What’s not to like?”

He raised an eyebrow. “I like watching you eat it. That count?”

“Sure,” she grinned, dipping in for another mouthful. “More for me.” She lapped the frozen concoction with an exaggerated lick, pulling a big portion into her mouth and holding it there. She made a show of swallowing slowly, then licking her lips.

“Ah.”

“You want to go back to your place now, don’t you?”

“Uh huh,” he managed to verbalize.

“When I finish. It’s really good.”

“I gathered.” He tried to get his thoughts in order. “You don’t mind, do you? My place? I know it’s small, and rather dismal.”

She lay a hand on his. “I like it fine. And you know, I could spruce it up. A few throw pillows, Martha Stewart it a bit, but not in the prison cell way.” Her eyes lit up. “Flowers. They would be...”

“Dead without sunlight,” he finished. “I want to give you the world. You deserve a palace, Buffy, not a hole in the ground.”

“It’s less holish than the crypt. I’m okay, really.” She sighed. “But I guess at some point I’ll have to go back to Europe.”

“Oh. Right.” He stared into his tea, avoiding her eyes. “I should have known. These weeks have been the best of my life. I’m grateful.”

“Hey, stupid vampire.” She tipped up his chin with the end of her finger. “I’ll go back to Europe, and you’ll come with. See Dawn. And Giles. He wants to make amends, really. And there’s so much you could do to help.”

“I hadn’t thought...”

“Think.” She dipped her spoon into the melting mixture. “I thought maybe we would have heard from Angel. I’m kinda worried.”

“Don’t. He’s a big boy. It’s Nina concerns me. Full moon’s coming, and I hope she doesn’t do something daft. Talked to her?”

“No. I keep almost calling her, then I chicken out. What do I say? Sorry my ex broke your heart too? It’s awkward, you know?”

“Seems to me she might like a friend to talk to.”

Buffy nodded. “I know. Hey, I’ll call her now. See if she wants to hang out tomorrow after class.” She opened her purse and pulled out her cell. “Damn. When did I turn this off?”

“I believe,” he replied, “It was three nights ago, when you said the last thing you wanted was Rupert calling in the middle of...”

“Oh, right,” she blushed. “I can’t believe I forgot to turn it back on. What if Dawnie needed me?” She smacked him on the arm.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“Being a distraction.” She turned on the power and the message icon flashed. “See? I’ve missed one call, anyway.” She scrolled for the number. “Hey. It’s from Xander. In Africa. Must be important.” She dialled the number. “Oh, hey. Hi Monica. Buffy... Xander there? No, he called... He did? When? Okay. Tell him to call again when he gets back... You too. Cya.”

“Who’s Monica? Harris have a secretary?”

“No, silly. A wife.”

“A what now?”

She looked embarrassed. “I can’t believe I didn’t tell you. Xander got married in Africa. See? Distraction.”

“Yes. Totally my fault that you didn’t tell me. Thought the boy was weddingphobic.”

“He was.” She pushed aside her empty bowl and took her lover’s hands, her expression serious. “When Anya died, it really shook him. He said he’d taken too much for granted, and he never would again. I think he grew up a lot. He didn’t think he’d meet someone again so soon, but when he did, he didn’t want to let her go. And her parents were very much ‘Marry my daughter’ people. So he did.”

“Carpe Diem.” Spike brought her fingers to his lips. “Words to live by.”

“I don’t see what fish have to do with it, but okay.”

“I mean, ‘seize the day’. Or night, as the case may be.”

“Good plan. I’ll call Nina tomorrow.” She stood up and he helped her into her jacket.

“What did Mr. Newlywed want? Did she know?”

“No.” Buffy pulled a few dollars from her wallet to cover the tab, and took Spike’s arm. “She just said he went away with a friend for a few days, but he’s been calling her, so he’s fine. He’ll call when he gets back, I guess. Couldn’t be anything important.”


	12. Chapter 12

“You haven’t heard a word?”

“Nope.” Nina stirred the coffee with the silver spoon. It was a nice place. Certainly fancier than Starbucks. Buffy had good taste. “You haven’t either, have you? You’d tell me, wouldn’t you?”

“No.” Buffy fiddled with the pastry on the china plate. This place was sure fancier than Starbucks. She wondered where Spike had heard about it, but it was a good place for her coffee date with Nina. She hoped the other girl would be less likely to burst into tears in a nice shoppe. “I would tell you. You know I would. I can see how much you’re hurting.”

“I said I was going to move on.” Nina’s attempted a smile, then gave up. “I can’t, Buffy. I love him too much. How did you do it?”

“You sure you want to talk about this?”

“Why not?” Nina’s eyes were serious. “How did you deal with it when you thought Spike was dead? How did you keep from just falling apart?”

“Oh, right. Spike.” Buffy took a big gulp of coffee. “Of course, Spike.” She thought for a moment. “I had work. There was lots to do. And my sister, that helped.”

“I know what you mean. My sister and my niece have been great. I’m busy with school. But it’s still killing me.”

Buffy lay her hand on Nina’s. “I know. And Spike and I ... we weren’t really in a good place, when I lost him. In a way, that was harder. I finally got up the nerve to tell him how I felt, and it was too late. He was gone. Hell, he didn’t even believe me.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. Things are amazing now. Maybe better than they would have been if we hadn’t gone through everything we did.”

Nina nodded. “I wish I could believe that everything will work out for the best. Do you think he’ll come back?”

“I hope so.” But her voice betrayed her doubt. “Angel, he has all the time in the world. If he didn’t love you so much, he wouldn’t have left. You have to believe that.”

“I want to. I don’t really understand, but I want to believe he loves me.” She picked up her biscuit, then put it down again, unbitten. “It’s just... Before me. Before he even met me, he was really hung up on someone. And I think it was so hard for him to move on from that. His heart was kinda broken.”

Buffy looked embarrassed. “I know.”

“He really loved her.”

“Yeah.”

“Cordelia Chase must have been an extraordinary woman.”

“Huh?”

“He didn’t talk about her much. She was in a coma when I met him, and she died right after that, but I could tell. Losing her cut him so deep.”

Buffy just stared ahead. “Cordy?”

“Oh, you knew her? Spike told me they worked together for a long time, and he could see how much pain Angel was in when she died. I think it took a lot for him to open up again. Maybe it was easier for him, being a puppet, but...”

“Being a ... you did say Cordelia Chase? I mean, I heard she had died, but ... Cordy?”

Nina smiled. “He was such a cute little puppet. If I hadn’t already loved him, that would have done it. You should ask Spike.”

“Cordy. I should have known. She was always after him. Right from the start.”

“Ah, Buffy? Did Spike tell you about Angel being a puppet?”

“A what? Um, no. I should ask him.” Buffy bit her lower lip. “Nina, did you know about... Angel and I, we used to...”

“I know you’re the ex he and Spike went to see in Rome, if that’s what you mean. I’m okay with that.” She squeezed Buffy’s hand. “Angel told me, before we got together. He said he didn’t want to keep any secrets.” Her eyes flashed with anger. “Turns out he had a doozy. Black Thorn. Geez.”

“That Spike did mention.” She took a bite of her pastry. “Yummy.” She took another and let it dissolve in her mouth, savouring it. “You know, I love Spike. I love him more than I ever thought possible. But Angel, he’s still here in my heart. Spike knows that. You can move on. I know you can. You may have to. But he can always be here,” she pointed to her chest, “even as the pain gets a little and a little bit less.”

“You sound like my sister.” Nina wiped away a tear, trying to hold the rest in. “But right now, it hurts like hell. I love him so much.”

“I know,” Buffy said. “And that’s okay.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel in Africa.

They’d travelled mostly by night in the jeep, the sun too much for both of them. When they did drive in daylight, Angel kept under a blanket, making catching up on the news when he wasn’t dozing.

It was almost black, the night sky punctuated by clear pin pricks of stars, when they reached what Xander hoped was finally their destination. He was wondering why he had decided to help Angel, missing Monica’s arms so much he ached, when he pulled the jeep to a stop and pointed down into the valley. “I think that’s it.”

Angel started running down the hill, and it was all Xander could do to stay caught up. The tiny village was quiet. At first the men assumed it was too late for the inhabitants of the huts to be up, but a quick look around proved them to be deserted. “This can’t be it,” Angel said.

“Look, I’m not sure. I’m just piecing things together from the bits that Spike told you and me, and what I’ve been able to find out from my contacts, but it seems right.”

“There were people.” Angel looked in the window of another hut. Even the dirt floor had been swept clean. He went to the entrance way and stepped inside. “Abandoned. I couldn’t be in here if it wasn’t.”

“Calm down, man. Don’t make assumptions. Spike didn’t say the people did anything. They were just there.”

Angel walked back out into the night. “Right. So where is it?”

Xander pointed his flashlight into the night. “There. That must be it.” He followed Angel into the mouth of the cave. “Hey? Demon soul guy! Yo!” His voice echoed in the cavern chamber.

“Not that way.” Angel rolled his eyes. “Show some respect.” He called in a loud voice, “He who dwells in darkness, and grants light, hear my supplication.” He stood, waited, and added, “Please?” The silence was deafening. “Maybe this is the wrong cave after all.”

“No.” Xander pointed the flashlight beam at the cave wall, illuminating the drawings. Illustrations of torment, just as Spike had described, danced in the light. “This is it. Sorry man.”

Angel ran his hand across the paintings. “No, it can’t be. He must... maybe he’s at the back of the cave. Maybe he didn’t hear us. I’ve come so far...”

“Sure.” Xander clapped his hand on Angel’s shoulder. “That’s it. Let’s keep walking.”

For over an hour they investigated every nook and cranny of the cave, until they came to the solid back wall. The drawings were the only indication that anyone had ever been there. Finally, defeated, Angel went back out into the night. “I don’t understand,” he said to Xander.

“Maybe he’s on vacation?”

From a hut so small they hadn’t looked inside, a little old man, leaning on a staff of rough wood, hobbled out. He said something to the two, and Xander nodded.

“He wants to know why we seek the bread box. No, wait, I think he said demon.”

“You understand him?” Angel was surprised.

“Sort of. He can speak Swahili, and I know some of that. I’m no Dawn, but I have been in Kenya for over a year now. And my mother in law is, um, difficult. She doesn’t like speaking English. Or at least around me.” He said something to the old man, who answered, looking slightly confused.

“What did you say?” Angel asked. “And what did he say?”

“I think, I hope, I asked him where the demon is. And he said, let me get this straight, ‘Gone to the great bowling alley in Nairobi.’ No, wait, that can’t be right.” He asked the man again. “Okay, that makes more sense. ‘Gone. Many suns ago, a great, dancing, no shaking of the heavens, and the creature was no more.’ Earthquake, maybe?”

“The huts are still standing. Maybe it was us. Fighting the Black Thorn. Who knows?” Angel punched the outside wall of the cave in anger. “Damn!”

“Hey. Besides making a pretty bloody mess of your knuckles, you’ve frightened our geriatrically challenged friend here.” Xander spoke gently to the now trembling man. “I asked him if he knows where Mr. Demon went.”

“Does he?” Angel asked, a trace of hope in his voice.

“No,” Xander sighed. “No idea.” Xander nodded to the man, then led Angel to the jeep. “So, now what? Want to keep looking?”

Angel sat in silence for a minute. “No,” he finally said. “This isn’t fair to you. And for all we know, the demon is dead, or in another dimension. You should go home to your wife.”

“What about you?” Xander asked. “You going back to LA?”

“Not much point. Nothing’s changed.” He leaned back in the seat. “Maybe I’ll go to Europe. It’s been years. Must be some helpless people who need helping there, even if the Slayer brigade is in full force.”

“I could call Giles,” Xander offered. “Find you a city to wrangle girls in. We can use all the help we can get.”

“Look,” Angel turned to Xander. “You’ve been great, helping me. I know you don’t even really like me...”

“Well, no.” Xander grinned. “But you don’t like me either, so we’re even there.”

Angel smiled in spite of himself. “Maybe. But anyway, I need some time on my own. So many things have happened...”

“Yeah.” Xander sobered. “About Cordy. Did she suffer?”

Angel thought back over the last few years. About Connor, and Jasmine. About a night at the beach and lost opportunities. About a last, miraculous kiss. “She was in a coma. She just ... slipped away.”

Xander nodded. “Good. Part of me always cared about her, you know?”

“See,” Angel replied, “We do have something in common.” Then he thought about Nina, and new love, and the pain he was tired of feeling. “Europe. I think it’s a plan.”


	14. Chapter 14

Last night she’d cut it close. She’d played with Mandy longer than she thought, and jumped in the car without even saying goodbye. Traffic had been heavy, and she worried that she’d get to the warehouse in time. Her sister would have freaked if she’d shredded the upholstery.

No. Not funny. Not funny if she’d ripped apart the car, jumped into traffic, torn apart a few cops. Not funny if she’d been shot, or was that a problem? Was it just silver bullets? She wasn’t sure she wanted to find out.

The last thing she remembered was locking the door, until she woke up in the morning. Hadn’t even had time to take off her clothes, though luckily she’d left an extra pair in the locker.

Tonight the moon was at its zenith. Tonight, part of her didn’t care.

She’d seen Buffy and Spike earlier that day. They’d been so happy. Buffy seemed quite at home in the little apartment, but the two had talked about moving back to Europe. There were things he wanted to show her in England, he said. There were things she wanted to show him in Rome. She’d watched Buffy absentmindedly stroke his hand, tenderly touching the two fingers. She didn’t care, about his injuries, or about what he was. Watching the two of them so obviously in love cut her deeper than she cared to admit. Still, she’d come to care for them more than she knew.

She didn’t want them to go.

Sure, she had her niece and her sister. She loved them. But then again, they had each other and much as her sister tried, she just couldn't understand. Driving to the warehouse, she felt a deep sadness. She felt alone.

And she wondered, if she didn’t go back, if she didn’t lock herself in tonight, if some cop would take her out. Or someone else. Maybe even the Slayer. It wouldn’t be fair, putting Buffy in that situation. But Buffy could do it. Buffy could set her free.

Why had he left her, she wondered again. He said it was because he loved her. But if he loved her, how could he leave her alone to face what she would have to face every month for the rest of her life? He said in her letter that he’d understand if she moved on. Move on to what? There was no one else who could love her. How could she subject a normal man to her life? Buffy said she knew another werewolf. He had gone to Tibet and learned to control the beast. Could she do something like that? She didn’t think so. That took focus. Patience. Most of all, desire.

She feared she didn’t want it badly enough. Silver bullet. Easy way out.

She kept driving. The part in her that wanted to go on was stronger. Tonight.

What about tomorrow?

She pulled into the parking lot. The sun had yet to set. She opened the door, went into the basement and took off her clothes, carefully folding them and putting them in the locker. She opened the cage door, pulling it shut behind her, reached through the bars, and locked it. Waited. The familiar pain ripped through her, and she forgot everything that made her human.

*****

He waited until she went into the building. Waited until the moon came up, then went inside.

She was there in the cage, pacing. She was magnificent. Walking on her hind legs, straining against the bars, she let out a guttural growl when she saw him. Tried to reach him, cut him, but he stayed too far back.

After a while, she lost interest, and continued her walk, back and forth in the small space. Caged animal. Every once in a while she grabbed at the bars and pulled, then finally gave up all together and sat on the floor, howling at a moon she couldn’t see.

He watched her. Muscles rippled beneath her fur. It stirred him. There was a primal beauty in it. Beauty, and deadly danger. He thought about what would happen if the bars gave way, and she got out. Could he do it? Stop her? He didn’t want to find out.

He’d done it before, taking out demons without a second thought. Then, he wouldn’t have seen the beauty in the wolf. Now he did.

He pulled up a chair and sat beside the cage. All night long he stayed with her and didn’t sleep. Wouldn’t leave her.

After a time she curled up on the floor, her breath deepening. She didn’t wake up when she changed back. He took her clothes from the locker and pushed them between the bars.

Finally, she woke and stretched. When she turned, he was standing beside her, the door opened.

“Oh, my god!” she squealed. “I’m dreaming, right?”

Angel pulled her into his arms. “No dream. I’m back.”

“Wait.” She pushed away from him. “I can’t take this. Not if you just came to say goodbye again.”

He cupped her cheek in his hand. “I’m not leaving. Not if you want me to stay.”

Her tears dampened his fingers. “You better mean it.” Pressed a kiss into his palm. “You big jerk.”


	15. Chapter 15

“Gypsies.”

Angel nodded. “Specifically a gypsy, but true.” Angel sat on the couch, his arm around a very happy Nina. He looked across at Spike, sharing the armchair with Buffy on his lap.

“Let me get this straight.” Spike tried to concentrate on the question, though Buffy’s wiggling was making that difficult. “You were cursed by the sodding gypsies, right?”

“You know,” Nina interjected, “I think they prefer Romany.”

“Yeah, and I prefer ‘life challenged’.” Spike ignored the tongue sticking out of Nina’s mouth and continued. “The gypsies cursed you, and then they cured you. Sounds like you got off easy. That fire-handed WWE git was a real bugger.”

“Can I just finish my story without any more interruptions?”

“I’m listening,” Buffy said. “Then what happened, Angel? And you,” she admonished Spike, “Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“I want to hear it.” Nina cuddled even closer to Angel, who was trying not to look at the otherwise occupied couple in the armchair.

“I told you.”

“Tell me again.”

“Okay. I headed to Europe, and the first day there I save an old woman from a group of muggers. Not even demon muggers, just run of the mill punks. You know the type, Spike.”

Spike flipped Angel a double-fingered salute with his good hand, without breaking lip contact.

“So, it turns out this woman is a gypsy, and what’s more, she’s heard of me. She’s so grateful, she does her own customized ritual, and my soul is fixed. Permanently.”

“I like this part.” Nina ran a finger over Angel’s chest. “Love it, actually.”

Angel leaned down to kiss Nina, when Spike interrupted. “But I thought the gypsies hated you. Angelus, anyway. How do you know they won’t make her recurse the curse?”

“Because,” Angel answered, “I was cursed by the Kalderash. The woman I helped was Marush. Whole other clan. She told me she thought the curse was stupid anyway. Why curse a vampire with a removable soul, when it’ll just make him testier when he gets it out? Why not leave it in? It’s a win win situation.”

“You certainly were testy,” Buffy managed to say, before Spike drew her back into the kiss. She pushed him away. “Spike, you know this is kind of rude. We have guests.”

“No, we have Angel and Nina. Who are quite welcome to shag right there on the couch, for all I care.”

“Spike!” Buffy exclaimed. “And eww.”

“You know,” Nina started to stand up, “Maybe we should leave.”

“And go where?” Angel asked.

“Good question.” Nina sighed. “My sister’s place? I mean, she’s getting used to having a werewolf in the house. What’s another vampire?”

Buffy took Spike’s hand. “We should tell them.”

“Right.” He smiled. “We’re sodding off to England. Tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to...” Nina started.

“Buffy’s got this daft notion that I should work for the Watcher’s Council, what’s left of it. And I can’t resist seeing the look on Rupert’s face when she tells him. So, Peaches old boy, this place is yours. Rent’s paid up for months. Your own little dungy, sparsely furnished love nest. Enjoy.”

Angel tried to think of a snappy come back, but all he could think of was, “Thank you.”

“We’ll be living in sin.” Nina’s face lit up. “Cool.” She stepped over to Buffy and gathered her into a hug. “Man, I’m going to miss you guys.”

“Me too.” A tear trickled down Buffy’s cheek. “You be good to him.” She glared at Angel. “And you be good to her. No more running away.”

Angel nodded. “My running days are over. Cross my heart.” His hand paused above his chest. “Figuratively speaking.” He turned to Spike. “It goes without saying that if you ever hurt Buffy, I’m personally going to dust you. Slowly and painfully.”

“Only what I’d expect.” Spike reached out his wounded hand. “Life’s a funny thing, innit?”

Angel started to take Spike’s hand, then pulled him into a bear hug. “We’ve come a long way, William, haven’t we?”

“Only the beginning, mate. Only the beginning.”


End file.
